Fresh, new, a little scarred, but who cares

oban west

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It was never a nice table.  But it was all we could afford, and it was what we wanted.  So for a few years it was our nice table.  And that was good.  Then the ball of energy that has occupied my 6 year old wondered what the texture would be like if she took a ball peen hammer to it’s surface.  I don’t know where she got the ball peen hammer, I mean does anyone really have a ball peen hammer just lying around?  I don’t, but somehow, Ball of Energy found one.  And despite my initial anger, the texture was pretty cool.

And it all went downhill from there.

My wife, Jessi, is an artist.  And god bless her, she’s imparted that love for things that are beautiful, and dark, and entirely unable to be adequately described by my finite vocabulary, to our children.  So projects that were…

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If I knew I couldn’t fail…

Has anyone ever asked you “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”?

This particular question has been more difficult to answer than I ever thought it might be. The reason is, there are so many things I would do! If I knew I couldn’t fail, I would…

  • write a book
  • start my own business
  • have more kids
  • aim higher
  • be myself more

…and that’s just a few. But the one that really gets me is that last one. If I knew I couldn’t fail, I would be myself more. How crazy is that? I wonder how many of us feel this way? How many of us go through life scared to really be ourselves? Maybe it’s because we live in such a superficial world. A world where we are constantly updating our status’s on Facebook and trying to make our lives look so perfect to everyone else. Why is that?

I know I don’t have all the answers, but I do know what has happened when I have opened up and been real with people. People don’t like real. At least not in my experience. See, I struggle a lot with depression. When I get together with a group of friends, and I pretend like everything is right in my world, they tend to think I’m a blast to be around. But if I’m real, down, broken, sad, or depressed….nobody wants to be around that. Which is really too bad, because when I am depressed is when I need friends the most. So what would you do in my shoes? Would you be real, and feel ultimately alone? Or would you put on a happy face and be loved? It’s really shitty to have to make a decision like that.

I know what you’re thinking…”if they can’t accept you as you, then they aren’t real friends.”

I’m not so sure about that. I think people try. But in reality, we are all broken. We can only handle so much. Would you prefer to be friends with someone who poses a challenge? Or someone who is fun?

Tell me…what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

I’m new here

I was reading an article that I saw on Pinterest the other day about how to make money from home. As a stay at home mom, this is always something that is on my mind. One of the things that I came across as an option was blogging. “Hmmm?” I thought…”l could be into that! But where does one start with a blog?” Which has led me to this moment.

I’m starting a blog. With no idea if I’m just going to rant; if I’m going to pursue one particular topic that I’m passionate about; or if I’m going to try to make a difference. These are all things that have crossed my mind. However, instead of analyzing, I’m just jumping in and sharing my thoughts. I think too often in life, people spend way too much time thinking instead of just doing. So here I am…doing.

Wish me luck.